THE WORST WORDS... by Tawni Branz

I wrote this a few weeks after my mom passed away... THE WORST WORDS By Tawny Branz Copyright 2007 WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THE WORST WORDS THAT I EVER COULD HAVE HEARD WERE “SHE LOVED YOU, DEAR, SO MUCH” – I THOUGHT – OH GOD, I’VE GOT TO SEE HER AND, WHAT DO YOU MEAN – SHE LOVED ME? SHE STILL LOVES ME? RIGHT? SHE LOVES ME! MY DAD – HE WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND ME TIGHT CAUSE I WAS FALLING STANDING IN THAT HOSPITAL – THE SOUNDS OF NURSES CALLING. OH, GOD – I CRIED! OH PLEASE, NO, GOD! I HAVE TO SEE MY MOM JUST YESTERDAY WE WENT TO LUNCH – SHE’S FINE – SHE CAN’T BE GONE? I DIDN’T GET TO SAY GOOD-BYE – THIS JUST CANT BE - I’M DREAMING OH, WHY THEN AM I STANDING HERE – OH WHY THEN AM I SCREAMING? WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THE WORST WORDS THAT I EVER COULD HAVE HEARD WERE “SHE LOVED YOU, DEAR, SO MUCH” I THOUGHT – OH GOD, I’VE GOT TO SEE HER! SHE’D ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO STOP BY LAST NIGHT TO VISIT IT’S NOT MY FAULT I DIDN’T GO – IT’S NOT MY FAULT! OR IS IT?! I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SEE HER -OH, IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN THIS I WOULD HAVE SET ASIDE MY STUPID PLANS - I FEEL SO HOPELESS! THEY LET ME IN TO SEE HER - LAYING THERE – BUT SHE’S NOT BREATHING I HARDLY CAN CONTAIN THIS PAIN – THIS ANGER – SO MUCH GRIEVING AT LEAST I KNOW SHE LOVED ME – NOT JUST CAUSE MY FATHER TOLD ME - BUT WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE FOR ONE MORE CHANCE TO HAVE HER HOLD ME. WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THE WORST WORDS THAT I EVER COULD HAVE HEARD WERE “SHE LOVED YOU, DEAR, SO MUCH” IF ONLY SOMEHOW I COULD HEAR HER SAY THOSE WORDS – I LOVE YOU - BUT I’LL NEVER HAVE THAT HONOR I STILL CAN HEAR MY FATHER’S WORDS – THOSE PAST TENSE WORDS SAID FOR HER. My mom, my BEST friend... I loved her more than just about anyone... But after she passed ohhh how I wished that I had done a better job of showing her just how much! DONT WAIT SO LONG TO LET YOUR LOVED ONES KNOW JUST HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM! YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THAT DAY WILL COME WHEN THEY ARE NO LONGER HERE TO SHOW OR TELL THEM.